nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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