OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
