Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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