at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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