I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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