Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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