I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
