Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
