Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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