They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
