My room smells like vodka and shame
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
