i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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