then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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