I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
