im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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