While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
