i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
