a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
