Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
