He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
