i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
