before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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