it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
