if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
