I bet he comes in French.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
This house was built for laser tag.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
