I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
