he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
