I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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