sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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