Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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