I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
