Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
