we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
