just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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