get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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