I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize