My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
