Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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