I wanna bring you to show and tell
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
