the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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