We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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