I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
