My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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