can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
