the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
