I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm like, not good at living.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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