So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
