Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
third nipple confirmed
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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