so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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