Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
