If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
