brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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