beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
