he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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