i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
