A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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